You Can Keep Percy
by Post U Later
Summary: "You know Ron, I'm in love with your sister and everything, but if Bill was single... Goddamn. I'd go there." "GODDAMN IT! YOU CAN'T TAKE ALL MY SIBLINGS HARRY!" "Don't worry, Ron. You can keep Percy." Harry joins the twins in pranking Ron. Rated T Because I'm Paranoid. WILL NOT BE COMPLETED HERE! I'VE MOVED TO AO3
1. Chapter 1

**A/N~ Hey Everyone, I Saw This Post On FaceBook & I Couldn't Help But Write It. This'll Be My First Published HP Work, I've Actually Got Quite A Few In The Works. But I Just Had To Post This. It's A OneShot, I May Write A Sequel To It One Day, But I Haven't Planned Anything So Far. **

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**Here's The Link To The FB Page Where I Got The Inspiration, Just Remember To Take Out The Spaces:**

 **www . facebook Wwnfy / photos / a . 325306644240031 . 65114 . 119550501482314 / 717848494985842 / ? type = 1**

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 **Warning: Nothing Major, Just Ron Misinterpreting A LOT Of Stuff… Maybe A Few Sexual Innuendos, But Really, Not Much.**

 **Disclaimer: I Don't Own Anything Relating To Harry Potter, Except My Proud Place In Ravenclaw! Can I Hear A Caw Caw For My Ravens Out There? (Please Put A Caw Caw In Your Review If You're In Ravenclaw). XD**

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 **You Can Keep Percy**

 **~3,278~**

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It was like any other Holiday dinner, everyone around the Weasley table digging into their food. It was one of those lucky Yuletide dinners where all the Weasley children, and honorary Weasley children(Harry and Hermione) were able to be there for the feast.

Harry was sitting in between his two best friends, Ron on his right, and Hermione on his left. Ginny was sitting beside Hermione, with Percy, who had apologized to the family, sitting on the end, next to his mother. Beside Mrs. Weasley, on the other side of the table, was the twins, first George, then Fred, who was sitting next to Bill. Charlie finished off that side of the table with Mr. Weasley sitting at the end across from his wife.

It had been a year since the war had ended, and Hermione had dragged them all back to Hogwarts to finish their schooling, not that they needed it. Harry and Ron were already working as Aurors, even if only on the weekends as they were at Hogwarts the other 5 days of the week. Hermione persisted that it would help them eventually, and they knew, from years of experience that there was no arguing with Hermione when it came to school.

Harry and Ginny were finally going out, as were Ron and Hermione, but years of habit made them sit together as they were now, plus they didn't want to get caught playing footsie or anything by the Twins, who were even more merciless in their teasing than they had been in school.

Speaking of the Twins, they were giving Harry the 'Go Ahead' signal. You see, the Twins had a plan to prank Ron, or more factly Harry was going to prank Ron, the Twins had just come up with the idea and talked Harry into it. They knew how easily he got uncomfortable and awkward, and they knew the perfect way to do so. Harry was bi, everyone knew that and was okay with it, but when Ron found out, he had been awkward around Harry for nearly a month, stuttering and unsure of how to act, before avoiding him for nearly an entire week, which was quite the feat as they slept in the same room. But Harry had cornered him and they'd talked and become friends again, but when it was brought up, he was still a bit awkward, especially now that Harry was dating his sister.

It was kind of a family tradition actually, pranking Ron, he was the easiest of course, but usually it involved both him and Harry getting pranked, or him and Ginny, as they were the youngest of the brood. But now, Harry was part of the pranking team, and he had to be thankful for that, besides, pranking was fun, especially when it was your best mate.

Ron had just scooped up the last bit of his mashed potatoes when Harry decided to speak up.

"You know Ron," Harry began, trying to keep the smirk out of his voice. "I'm in love with your sister and everything, but if Bill was single... Goddamn. I'd go there."

The entire table was quiet for a moment before Ron started making choking sounds and tried to cough up the mashed potatoes to yell at Harry. Mr. Weasley reached over and pounded his youngest sons back, helping him get rid of the block. When Ron could breath again, he opened his mouth but before he could say anything, he saw Bill wink across the table at Harry with a smile, and Ron screamed.

"AHHH!" Ron looked both pale and red in the face, something only he could do(the Twins had tried). "GODDAMN IT! YOU CAN'T TAKE ALL MY SIBLINGS HARRY!"

"RONALD! Language!" Mrs. Weasley yelled at him.

"Sorry mom," Ron quickly apologized.

"Don't worry, Ron." Harry said, patting his confused and uncomfortable friend. "You can keep Percy."

After some laughs and jeers tossed at Percy, dinner ended and everyone went their separate ways, forgetting about Harry's Comment at the dinner table, except Ron, who was staring at Harry as he sat next to Hermione, who was nose deep in a book from the library. Harry was chatting with the Twins facing away from him, and seemingly oblivious to Ron watching them, of course, that wasn't quite accurate.

Harry and the Twins knew Ron was watching them, and in true Twin fashion, Fred put his arm around Harry's waist and pulled him between him and his brother. Harry smirked and laughed as if told a joke and lightly smacked Fred's chest before looking up and batting his eyes.

"Oh Fred, you're too funny." Harry said, letting out more chuckles.

"Oi, what about me our little Raven." George pouted, putting his arm around Harry's shoulders and pulling him into his side.

"You're both funny." Harry smiled, before quickly looking around, and leaned up to whisper something into George's ear.

Ron was amazed to see George blush, but before he could truly register what was happening, George smirked over Harry's head at his twin and they both let go of Harry.

"We're heading up to bed." George said, faking a yawn.

"Already?" Ginny asked, poking her head in from the kitchen, a suspicious look on her face.

"We've got to get up early tomorrow." Fred said.

"A shop to run," George said nonchalantly.

"Pranks to plan," Fred threw an arm over his brother's shoulder, a smirk on his face.

"People to see,"

" _Things_ to do." As Fred said this, both he and his brother glanced at Harry, who was looking the other way.

Both Ron and Ginny stared for a moment before Ginny sighed.

"Fine, just don't involve me." Ginny said before returning to the kitchen, a gaping Ron staring after her.

"I think I'm going to go to bet too." Harry said, stretching his arms and yawning. "I'm pretty tired. Mrs. Weasley's food always does that to me."

"Us too!" Fred & George said together.

"Personally, I think she puts some calming potion in there to make us all less rowdy after dinner." George said, leaning in far too much into Harry's personal space, their faces only centimeters apart.

"We'll walk you up to your room." Fred said, linking his arm with Harry's George doing the same with his other.

Ron could only watch as his best mate and his two brothers went up to bed, and Ron was sure sleep wasn't on the agenda, and his sister was OKAY with it? Ron wasn't sure what he was more uncomfortable about, that his brothers and his best friend were... You know, or that his sister, his best mate's GIRLFRIEND didn't care. Ron shook his head and decided to talk to his friend in the morning, maybe Hermione could help him with what to say.

"Hey?" Hermione said, looking up from her book for the first time since dinner ended. "Where'd everyone go?"

Or maybe not.

The next morning Ron was worried. Ever since the Burrow had been burned down by Death Eaters, Harry had given them permission to live in Grimmauld Place, which was great, fantastic even, but it meant that, unlike at the burrow, everyone could have their own room, and since the Twins had decided to room together(like they did everything else), and Harry had claimed the Master bedroom(as he was the owner) by himself, Ron wasn't able to make sure Harry slept in his own bed. He had woken up early, which was rare, and had headed down to breakfast, just as his mother started cooking it. He even beat Charlie down, who was notorious for being up early(probably having to do with taking care of dragons). However, Harry was already awake and sitting at the dinning room table, looking dazed, drinking some tea and wearing a Weasley sweater, but it wasn't the one his mother had made for him.

"What in the bloody hell are you wearing?" Ron asked, staring at the sweater, it looked like it had been two sweaters at one point, fused down the middle, both sides had a letter, one had an 'F' and the other had a 'G.'

"Huh?" Harry asked, looking up from his cup of tea, startled at the sudden voice of his friend. "Oh, good morning Ron."

"'Morning Harry." Ron said in returned before repeating his question. "What are you wearing?"

"Hmm? Oh this?" Harry said, looking down and tugging at the sweater. "Mine got ripped last night, and Fred and George wanted to give me theirs, as they were the ones to rip it."

Ron nearly paled as he noticed that Harry was being deliberately unforthcoming with anymore detail on _how_ his sweater got ripped.

"But I couldn't wear both of them at once, and they started arguing about me picking a favorite Twin and then I made the off handed comment that if only it were one sweater and well," Harry motioned to the sweater with a 'what-can-you-do' shrug. "This is what came out of it. They practically forced me into it this morning."

Ron was about to ask why they'd given it to him this morning and not the night before, but he realized he truly didn't want to know. He patted his friends back and sat down.

"Mom's fixing your sweater?" Ron asked instead.

"Yeah, she said it'll be fixed my tonight, until then, I'm Fred and George's." Harry joked, pointing to the 'F' and 'G' with a chuckle, pretending not to notice how his friend went a little pale.

The next morning Ron woke up early again, not because he was worried about the Twins and Harry, but instead because he was worried about Charlie and Harry. Ron didn't know what was going on, but all day the two had been hanging out, talking about dragons and Quidditch and flirting nonstop. Ginny simply ignored them, Hermione had been locked in the library, annoyed at her boyfriend's constant rambling about Harry and all of his brothers, clearly she didn't see what was going on: brightest witch of her generation his arse.

Ron was determined to get to the bottom of what was going on? Was Harry just trying to get his sexual desires for men out before he got married to Ginny? Or was he trying to make every Weasley child out to be a conquest of his before he settled down. That thought made Ron freeze, was he going to be next? No, no, Harry had told him he had no romantic feelings for him and didn't even look at him like that, they were friends, nothing more, and they'd never become more. Ron had been comforted by that, and he still was, even now, maybe it was something else and he just couldn't see it. But every time he tried to ask Harry, heck, even get close to him, one of his other brothers, or his sister even, got in the way, pulling him into a game of exploding snaps or helping with the chores.

And then the two had gone to bed at the same time. Just like Harry and the Twins had the night before. He hoped that Harry was up early this morning too, he really needed to talk to him.

Sadly, Harry didn't come down until a little after 10, missing breakfast completely. The limp he was sporting didn't help Ron's imagination one bit.

"Oh Harry dear, what happened?" Mrs. Weasley asked worriedly.

"Oh, just slipped in the shower last night, not to worry, Charlie gave me some bruise salve and my lower back is slathered in it." Harry quickly said, blushing slightly, Mrs. Weasley seemed to accept this answer.

No one seemed to notice but Harry wasn't wearing his Weasley sweater, even though it had been fixed the night before, no, this one had a big orange 'C' on it. Ron just stared at his friend before leaving the room. He couldn't stand it, first the Twins, now Charlie.

"Oh god." Ron whispered to himself, "Who's next?"

Ron hadn't paid much attention, avoiding Harry, he couldn't look his friend in the eye, but he'd over heard Ginny asking their mother where Harry was and she'd said he was with Bill and Percy. Ron wasn't sure if Bill was next or Percy, but he honestly didn't want to know. Though, there was a part of him that did, like morbid fascination.

"I guess I'll find out in the morning." Ron grumbled and headed to his room.

He got up normally the next morning, ten minutes before breakfast was on the table, Harry was already down, as well as everyone else. Ron groaned when he saw Harry wearing a sweater with a 'W' on it, as Bill's full name was William. Ron couldn't believe it, that left only Percy and himself.

Again, Ron avoided Harry all day, not even looking at him during meal times, he couldn't stand to look at his friend, how could he just sleep with all of his brothers like he was? And then proudly wear their sweaters like did? Did his Father know? Or, Merlin forbid, mother. She'd have a cow if she found out Harry was sleeping with all of her sons while he was dating her daughter, even if Ginny was okay with it.

Perhaps it was a dare between Harry and Ginny? Yeah that had to be it. Ginny had dared Harry to try and sleep with all of her brothers... but then, that meant him too right? He would never do that with Harry, not even for a million Galleons! Or a life's worth of Chuddly Cannon's tickets, or even for the possibility of becoming a Chuddly Cannon, and that was saying something!

Ron wasn't quite sure how to go about everything, he couldn't keep avoiding Harry, every time he spotted his friend he left the room, and he could see the hurt expression on Harry's face and it was tearing him up inside. Once this was all over, he would talk to him about it. And they really needed to keep it a secret from his parents. He wasn't sure how he was going to go about keeping it a secret, but he promised himself that he wouldn't crack if his mother asked him about it, for Harry.

The next morning Harry came down stares after Ron, just as Breakfast was being set on the table. And Ron sighed in relief, Harry was wearing his own 'H' embellish Weasley sweater. Harry sat down at the table across from him and hesitantly looked up.

Harry knew Ron was either upset or disgusted with what was happening, he was definitely uncomfortable, and he almost regretted what he did, but now it was over and he couldn't wait to tell Ron everything.

"So Ron, why've you been avoiding me for the past few days?" Harry asked quietly.

Ron looked up, not sure what to say. They were surrounded by his family and Ron didn't want his mother getting mad.

"Lets talk about it later." Ron whispered back.

Harry only nodded and ate his breakfast. Afterwards, they went to the den to talk. Ron had thought up a whole speech(without Hermione's help, he might add), and as soon as the door closed behind Harry, Ron opened his mouth to start, but Harry spoke before he could even take in a breath.

"Is it about all the sweaters?" Harry asked quickly, looking shy. "Are you jealous? I can wear your sweater if you want?"

Ron stood there, his mouth open, gaping like a fish out of water. Harry hadn't just asked him if he wanted... no, he must have misheard.

"W-what?"

"If it's about me wearing your brothers sweaters, then I can wear yours too." Harry said shyly looking down. "You know, if you want."

"Uh... uh." Ron wasn't sure what to say.

"It's really not a problem." Harry said quickly. "All your brothers were pretty big on me anyway, I'm sure yours will fit better, even though you're still bigger than me."

Ron blushed at that, thinking that Harry was using the Sweaters as a code word, and sputtered.

"H-Harry, no. I don't want you to... _wear my sweater._ " Ron said, his face still bright red. "I-I..."

It was quiet for a long moment, Ron embarrassed and unsure of what to say now, his plan and speech had flown out the window. Suddenly he heard choked gasps and looked at his friend. Harry was bent slightly, his head down and his arms wrapped around his midsection. Ron was horrified to see Harry's shoulder shaking slightly, had he upset him by refusing him? He didn't want Harry like that, he never would, but he didn't think he could take seeing his friend clearly so distraught.

Ron took a step forward to comfort his friend when he heard it. It started low but quickly grew, and soon Harry threw his head back and was laughing hysterically. Ron was so confused, standing there, a hand outstretched towards his friend.

"Oh-oh Merlin!" Harry said through his laughs. "Your... Your face! The look! I-I can't take it anymore!"

"What?" Ron said, realizing something was seriously wrong with the situation. "What in the bloody hell?"

"Oh man." Harry said, starting to calm down. "That was perfect! Too perfect! Just wait till I show Fred and George! This is too much!"

And instantly Ron knew he'd been had. Harry hadn't slept with any of his brothers, it was all a trick. Harry had teamed up with his evil brothers to prank him. Ron's face grew red once again, but this time in anger instead of embarrassment. How dare he turn against him, it was always them against the Twins, but somehow they'd turned Harry against him, and oh, he was going to get his revenge. A plan was already forming in his head.

Ron ran from the room, knocking the Twins out of the way as they were standing outside the door using their extendable ears. They were laughing, and as he ran past Charlie and Bill, they chuckled, but looked a little apologetic for the part they played. He ran through the hall, past many doors, passing his mother who told him not to run. He finally reached the Library, where he knew Hermione and Ginny were working on something, probably homework, and burst in.

"Hermione! Ginny!" Ron yelled, getting a reply from one of the back shelves.

"Ron, is that you?" Hermione asked, coming out from behind a shelf. "Wow, I didn't think you'd ever come to the li-"

Hermione stopped herself as she took in her panting boyfriend.

"Hermione?" Ginny asked, coming out from behind another bookshelf. "What has my idiotic brother done now?"

Ginny turned and looked at her brother, he seemed normal enough, dirty pants, tight shirt, red hair, evil looking smirk- wait what?

"I need your help." Ron said, his smirk growing. "Both of you."

"With what?" Hermione asked warily, both her and Ginny had known about the Twin's and Harry's prank on Ron, they'd opted to stay out of it.

"Revenge." Ron smirked evilly, looking worse than the Twins had when they'd been encouraged by McGonagall to prank Umbridge.

Ginny and Hermione looked at each other and gulped, they knew Ron was going to drag them into it anyway, they might as well help out of their own free will, besides, Ron was an excellent strategist, and if he put his mind to it, a great prankster, and they couldn't deny they were curious as to what they could do to help him in his revenge.

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 **E/N~ So? What'd Ya All Think? Did I Do It Justice? This Is My First POSTED HP Fic, So Tell Me If You Like How I Wrote Their Characters & What Not. Eventually, I Will Have More HP Stories Up, I've Got Quite A Few Being Written Right Now, Along With All My Other Stories In Multiple Fandoms. So If You Like It, Then Tell Me & I Might Post A Chapter Of Something I'm Working On. XD **

**Also, Please, If You Review(Because Clearly Not Everyone Reviews), Tell Me What House You're In, Obviously I'm Ravenclaw! My Little Sister Is In Slytherin, & Believe Me, That Is Very Accurate. She's A Lot Like Pansy, Just Maybe A Bit Lazier. But I Like Knowing What House My Readers Are In. I Have A Friend Who's In Slytherin Too, And Another Who's In Ravenclaw Like Me, But I've Never Met Anyone Who Was In Hufflepuff Or Gryffindor. XD **


	2. Author's Note(IMPORTANT!)

Hi Everyone. I Know, I Know, This Isn't What You Were Waiting For. Sadly, I've Got Bad News For Everyone. I'm Closing Down This Account. Well, At Least The Posting Part Of It. I'll Be Leaving My Stories Up For People To Read, But They Won't Be Finished Here. Now, Before Any Hearts Break, Or Riots Happen, I Will Be Finishing My Stories Over On AO3(Archive of Our Own) Under The Same Username. Only With Underscores Instead Of Spaces. **Post_U_Later**. I'm Currently In The Process Of Converting My Stories Over To There, Where I Will Try To Update More Regularly Than I Have In The Past.

I've Been Thinking About Putting My Stories On AO3 For A Long Time Now, Even Though At First I Didn't Like AO3, But The More I Read Stuff Over There, The More I Grew To Love It. & While I Originally Thought To Just Put My Stuff Up There As Well As Here, Some Things Have Caused Me To Change My Mind In The 'As Well As Here' Regard.

Now, The Reason I'm Doing This Is Because I've Found My Stores On Other Websites(Which I Didn't Give Permission To Use My Stories) Where People Have To Pay To Read. It's Very Frustrating & Insulting That People Would Steal My Work, But It's Even More Frustrating That People Are Out There Paying To Read What I Write When I Never Made Them With The Intent To Make Money. & People Are Getting Ripped Off Because Of It. FFN Isn't Secure Enough & I Urge Other Author's To Look Around To Make Sure Their Works Aren't Being Stolen As Well. I've Made Several Complaints Against The Sites That I Found My Work On Though I Don't Know If Anything's Really Being Done About It. You Know How Google Is, But With The Crappy Security That FFN Has(If Any Exists At All), I Don't Feel My Work's Are Safe Here, So I'm Moving Them Over To AO3.

I'm Sorry To Anyone Who Dislikes AO3, But I've Been Using Them More & More Lately. They Have A Better Searching System & A Better Review System Too. As Well As A Better Warning System For Stories That Are Explicit Or Not For Underage Readers. & I'm Absolutely In Love With The Tagging System They Have. It's Just Much Easier To Find Stories You Like Or Want To Read.

Again, I'm Sorry, This Might Seem Abrupt, But I've Been Dealing With This Since Just After I Last Updated Mutant Emotions(That's Just After X-Mas Of 2015). I'll Be Sure To Put A Notice On My Profile & In All The Summaries. & Again, I WON'T Be Taking The Stories Down. Even The Finished Ones.

& I Know I Might Have Told Some Of You Guys In PMs That I Would Most Likely Post One Last Chapter Before Stopping, But As I've Been Dealing With Downloading & Converting ALL My Stories, As Well As Editing Each One, I Haven't Had The Time To Write Lately, So I'm Sorry But That's Not Gonna Happen.

I Want To Thank Everyone Who's Reviewed, Followed, Favorited, & All My Loyal Readers For Everything, For All The Encouragement & Love You've Given Me, & I'm Sorry That This Has To Happen, But For The Sake Of My Stories & Those Being Robbed To Read Them, I Have To Move From FFN To AO3. I Hope To See You There. X3


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